| It's a cycle |
[03 Sep 2009|04:45pm] |
I'm going back to the arena tomorrow and I'm gonna see him again. hopefully anyway...I'm gonna leave well into the morning and go and watch. I might not meet him, but hopefully I'll get to see him.
He spends too much time in my head. It's not that I want him out...it's just that he is there...always present and effecting me. He's just there...and in a way...I'm accepting of it...in a way...I just want it to stop.
he's the reason i'm constantly waking up so early. I want to go to the arena. I haven't gotten to it yet this week...but K has to leave for buffalo so I'm thinking I'll take advantage of the time and going out.
I haven't slept in past 8 since I've gotten here. I blame him.
This is creepy...i shouldn't be like this. You get a restraining order for being like me...
...If I see him...I'm gonna be stressed all over again.
no...not stressed.
drowning.
|
|
| the church bell. |
[01 Sep 2009|08:25am] |
The church down the street
Tolls 2 am and my feet
Are curling, my toes into my palms.
And all I can think about
Is how I cant get around
This stone in my chest, pinning me to bed
But i cant think about sleep
When you're so far away
And i cant think about dreaming
When there’s no guarantee I'm dreaming about you.
The space inside my head is still too far away
And as I’m breathing
I wish my soles were bleeding
Cause then, i could be with you.
My chest would fill with every breath you blew
And i could feel alive
But I cant think about sleep
When you’re so far away
Make my night a day
And i cant think about dreaming
When there's no guarantee I'm dreaming about you.
The space inside my head is too far away...
Come to me, come alive…..
Just stay with me for just this night
I wait for you
I wait to feel…
The electricity, the synergy
The all consuming energy of
You and me….
It’s 5 AM the church is tolling
Devouts get their day rolling and
I’m still waiting for you.
The sky is turning blue
But I can’t think about sleep
When you’re so far away
No no…It’s not coming no!
And I can’t think about dreaming
When there’s no guarantee
I’ll be dreaming about, dreaming about you…
Wake me up...I’m sleeping
This night’s so dark without your warm arms closing around
Me…I need to feel you breathing
I need to wake up and feel that everything’s ok
But I can’t think about dreaming…
I can’t think about sleep…
‘Cause you’re not here with
Me.
|
|
| Want. |
[01 Sep 2009|01:33am] |
|
I met my hero on Friday. It's been 3 days since then and I haven't gotten over it. I wake up every day at 7 AM and I'm still not any closer to going again. But I'm craving. I want to see him again. I need to see him again. I can't understand why this compulsion is there, but it is. It's wrapped up inside me and coiled so tightly in my chest that I can't shake it.
I'm waking up so early because he is. He's probably been up an hour and it's calling me. It's a supernatural thing. It's not real...but every morning..it is real.
Stop calling to me...It wasn't supposed to be like this.
I'm getting frustrated, losing sleep, wondering when I'll see him again. He was quiet...he didn't talk much. I could have stayed with him for hours though. I could have just watched him. Just looked at him for hours. Hell...I do.
Every measured movement. Those big bulky gloves that make his careful, meaningful movements seem almost clumsy.
The shower of freckles over his nose and the way that clear roll of sweat traced the silhouette of his cheek.
It's an 8 track in my head, it's playing over and over. The softness of his voice with that masculine twang. The parts that made him so sincere, and so powerful. The way that he looked at me and how I shrunk beneath those brown eyes. The quivering of my legs to the point where I was sure they'd give out beneath me and leave me in a useless heap at his feet.
The softness in my own voice...and the over-compensation that pushed back the quivering.
the tears bubbling in my eyes from the happiness.
And then the weight that I might not mean anything. That those moments were just routine.
I can't tell him how he made me feel. If I go...I can show him. Show him my dedication. What that connection meant to me.
I can beg him to notice. But what does a 29 year old man want with a 19 year old college student?
What does a 19 year old girl know about love?
When it consumes you like this...it's like matches and gasoline.
|
|
| Shit |
[19 Aug 2009|03:15pm] |
Why am I still working on this novel? Why do I believe people when they tell me it's great without even reading it? Why do people keep saying they're going to read it, and never do? It's just shit. That's why. But they don't want to see my feelings hurt so they won't tell me it's shit. They just want me to sit here and waste my fucking time diddling myself thinking I have any scrap of talent. Fuck that. I'm not getting better without people helping me.
My writing ability is shit. It's driving me mad. I should eventually learn to just give it up. I'll never score a contract.
I'm hurt. I ALWAYS pull through for others. I've read everyone's novels multiple times and help them when I can. I guess that's my charm. I'll pull through for you...but when you leave me hanging I'll rarely pester you.
I understand people are busy...but hell. If I can find time, why the fuck can't everyone else?
I guess I'm just not as important.
Humans are selfish fucking creatures.
|
|
| Used Books for the Win! |
[17 Aug 2009|12:18pm] |
I just scored an 88 dollar text book for 30 bucks. I probably could have gotten it for less but I went with my gut and picked the person who was selling it in great condition for 30. that's big to me. I hope she has all the study materials it comes with, if not, I know another source.
damn textbooks are expensive. I kind of understand why, there's a lot of research, and people's efforts that go into every textbook. the one I bought/am buying from this girl, Carmen is UB's calculus book, a book that is custom tailored to UB's calculus ciriculum. At 50 dollars savings, I'm kind of happy getting what I asked for. Really. Really happy :)
All together my costs would be well over my head without the ability of UB to provide the online book exchange. I ran a test and 'bought' all my books at the school bookstore- it's well over 900 dollars of books! Quite...QUITE a mini fortune.
Wonder how everyone else is planning to get books.
|
|
| Anger |
[14 Aug 2009|12:19pm] |
|
It really is something when absolutely nothing can make you so angry you don't know what to do with yourself. I think it's just the charm of this house wearing off. But it's not really the house I have a problem with. my sisters are the ones who are really pushing me to the breaking point. I woke up at 11 (I've been needing the sleep so I didn't set my alarm) and by 11:30 I was so angry that I had to start doing chores to snap out of it. 10-15 minutes of that time i was isolated in a shower...what the fuck gives?
I think it's the mix of blatant disregard and lack of respect I find in my family. And I don't mean, they're annoying...I think everyone's family is annoying. I mean. When you get in a huge fght, after 5 minutes they're asking for favors. It happened about a week ago (it really pissed me off...which is hwy I'm holding the grudge.) and things get worse and worse.
This morning I got angry because my sister was eating oatmeal. WTF. Well...I ask dad to buy the oatmeal because it's good for me (low cal) and it's got some protein, which I'm always scrapping for. I eat the oatmeal when the other cereal runs out. My sisters are gluttons...and when I say gluttons, I mean, eat 3X the serving and then some. You know those microwavable pouches of uncle ben's rice? Those are two servings, they eat the whole thing. If I ate the whole thing I'd die of a perforated stomach.
But just little things like that...they're really eating Gilbert Grape. My sister is leaving a big, rotton smelling blanket in the washing machine because she doesn't want the dog sleeping in her room anymore. She's waiting until my stepmom does something about it. For Chrissakes! Grow up and do it yourself!
my sisters are 14 and 17 and don't know how to do anything for themselves. It's fucking disturbing. They have this vandetta like fight against my stepmom noe because my stepmom plays a lot of WoW. it's the most arrogant thing I've ever heard of. They hate me because I don't fight with her and do what I'm told. "you're conforming to her, you don't have a thought in your head" Gimme a fucking break. They're lazy little fucking twits and I'm reaching my breaking point. Being angry like this 24/7 isn't good for me. I used to RARELY get angry, but now, I'm getting sick of this shit.
13 more days...13 more days...13 more days
|
|
| Use somebody |
[12 Aug 2009|11:20am] |
I like Nickelback a lot. I've heard the real version of this...but really...I think that Peakers does a better job. Am i biased? Hell yes.
|
|
| Rejection is Annoying |
[11 Aug 2009|12:15pm] |
I went to take my written license exam today, but was turned away before I even got clearance to take it. I did everything right, 2 forms of ID, 2 proofs of residency...Everything right.
Except my proofs of residency could be fabricated. Because you know how easy those financial aid forms can be fabricated. Completely! A letter from my uncle with postmarks on it, from Missouri...can so be fabricated. You know I bought one of those stamps that you put over the right corner? I bought that from AC Moore just so I could pull the wool over your eyes...you silly DMV desk guy.
Fuck off.
I'm 18, I should be able to get my own fucking license exam without my father needing to hold my hand. I'm a legal fucking adult. Just because I don't have a fucking utility bill or because I don't have anything like that doesn't mean that I am not a legal fucking resident. Any old person can say they are my father...you don't know what my father looks like.
But aside from the fact, I am a LEGAL ADULT. Why the fuck do I need my father to fucking say where I live? That's bullshit!
Financial aid forms from my school. Sent to and from my school They are authorized BY MY SCHOOL. THE UNIVERSITY AT BUFFALO HAS AUTHORIZED MY ADDRESS Fucking hell and you tell me that these papers are fraudulent?
I'd rather not have to wait a year to get it done again. That's not fucking fair.
|
|
| Thinking about it |
[10 Aug 2009|10:28pm] |
Thinking about switching to another blog site called Tumblr. It's more multi-media than LJ, and it can connect to my hockey blog...making it more expansive. I also like the look of it too...
I'm sitting on it. But leaning towards it. It looks like more fun :3
|
|
| Belleh, Sunburn, Tri. |
[10 Aug 2009|12:02am] |
There’s something in all of us that compels us to change. I’m not sure what it is exactly, but it’s been a part of human nature since the dawn of time.
Around 4 years ago I decided that when the time came, I would again and again change myself. Change that I looked like, changed what people thought of me. There were things I’d already changed…like my face. It now had a piece of metal curved around the left eyebrow. Later it would have a ring wrapped around the right side of the lower lip. Thing would always be changing about thisf ace…always.
But I was still insecure. About my weight. I wanted it gone.
And then I would change something else.
And I did. I got another piece of metal shoved through my body. This time, it wasn’t my face, it wasn’t some other obscure location. It wasn’t my ears. It was my navel. That little dimple that always hung out too far away in a manner that I always found taunting. Why wouldn’t it come closer?
It’s not as close as I’d like it, but we’re getting there.
Right now it’s a little blue beaded ring, but in time it will change with moods and personalities, with passions and desires. It’s one of the multi-purpose piercing. You can dangle things from it, have a big charm or small charm. It’s not on your face.
What did it feel like? Well to be honest it hurt like hell. To be honest, 2 days later, it still hurts like hell. What’s worse is sunbathing after the fact and having a ring of red sunburn around it because I didn’t want to get sunscreen in the war wound.
But it’s fantastic. I really do enjoy it. I was pieced by ‘little Leo’ or Leo IV at the Purple Scorpion in Beverly, MA. He was super nice and walked through all of the procedure with me. He made sure I understood my aftercare instructions and made sure I was very comfortable. Things were on my terms.
When I get to college I’ll be in my 3rd week of having it. I’m going to a concert 3 weeks after having it. I’m told I have to saran wrap it. But already, although tender it hurts a little less. Actually the sunburn hurts more than the piercing does. (damn sun). I might not be able to mosh at coheed…but…whatever…I have a belly ring that I love.
What I don’t love is sunburns. Not one bit. I went to the beach with mom and was pretty sloppy with the sunscreen. I’m burned for a few different reasons. 1) I applied sunscreen at the beach. If you think this is a good idea, it’s really not. You’re rushing to get it on so it can dry and you don’t get sandy…there’s distractions and really…it’s a bad situation. Do it at home…you can focus on it better. 2) The belly ring is not lotion friendly. Why? Lotion is thick and nasty and has shit in it that you don’t want in a belly ring. That could cause infection and other bad things. Icky things. 3) I was fighting my sister for the sunblock and I just wanted it on and over with.
But the beach was a fun day, I don’t regret that either.
So today, my aunt ran in the Gloucester Triathalon. I call it a baby-athalon because, when you say Tri-athalon, people tend to freak out. No. It’s not a scary monster. The Gloucester Tri is like any other tri with swimming, running and biking. Here’s the breakdown.
1/3 mile of swimming
7.1 miles biking
3.2 miles running.
Being the oh-so unathletic but trying to be so person I am…I looked on in awe at what unfolded before me at the starting line. The crashing into the water, the splashing as they paddled forth.
After I talked to my aunt and she said…quite candidly. “You should so do it next year.”
I have the resources to train.
I have a reason to train.
Fuck it…
So now I’m sucked into this promise. I used to run a 12 minute mile…which I’ve lost since the treadmill went away. I don’t have much stamina at all, which is discouraging. But I do…tend to have freakish determination.
Maybe I can do this…hmmm
|
|
| Why you should be a Diva. |
[27 Jul 2009|03:06pm] |
|
suddenly I've been hit upside the head with a need to go Green. And I don't mean just like, smack! Weeee! kinda hit. I mean something bigger than a louisville slugger right to the squamosal suture (side of the head, joint between temporal and parietal bone...it's kinda a bad place to be hit.) why am I suddenly feeling the green movement? I'm not sure...i think it's because it makes my life more interesting. no I'm serious, I'm that challenged that I don't want to go green because it's good for the planet (ok...yeah, tha'ts a bit of a reason...but really...) but because I need litle things that make my life harder. I love a challenge.
So...what are my challenges. I've eliminated my use of water bottles. We buy them as a household sometimes...but since my dad realizes how much money he saves not using them, he doesn't buy them.
When I used to leave my computer charger in all the time (whether the computer be charging or not) no more.
I used to leave the computer on the charge for 24/7....now i run the battery down (6 hours+!) and only charge when I need it.
but yeah, not what I'm writing about.
it's gonna get icky.
once a month i go through this week...where I hate my life (not really, my period has never bugged me all that much). But...it's also a green nightmare. Think about it.
Tampon, used- every 8 hours or more.
5 Day period- lets say you use 4 tampons a day. that's 20 tampons the entire cycle.
Pad- changed once every 6 hours
5 day period, let's use the same figure, 4 pads, 20 pads.
Landfills, and whatnot...uh...not happy for the environment, is it? noooo.
so you might be saying, this is how it is megan! This is all you get, women are just doomed to kill the environment.
Women-Kind this is not the case. There are MANY alternatives
and when I say many, I say, there are different brands of the same two things.
We need Tampons and Pads?
I give you menstrual solutions. Cups and Pads
First, lets get to the cup. What is a cup. A cup is put inside you, and it holds the ickeys. Icky right? Well it's made of medical grade silicone, feels like a tampon, and the best part, you don't throw it away! Why is this good. It lasts 5 years (originally, now the FDA is saying you can't say it lasts for 5 years. That's bad. Whatevs...it's clean.) depending on the model.
I just bought the Diva Cup a few days ago (3) and LOVE it. First time putting it in- hurt. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but as I used it, putting it in became much easier to the point now (3 days later) I feel no more pain than i did using a tampon. YEY!
And not once during these days did I throw out a tampon.
I like the diva cup's design, it's FDA aproved, but there are other options. Femmecup, moon cup, Keeper cup, Lunette, Lady Cup and more. If you're interested in the concept, look around!
So that's Tampons- Pads?
They make those too, and they're made to just go in your regular wash. Don't worry, you rinse them before you put them in your wash. (and you obviously. only put them with darks...ewh) but again, another nice solution as opposed to something like an always pad, which is made of plastic.
I know of personally, 3 brands, each of which having a template that you can dig up if you want to sew your own. I'm personally interested in procuring Lunapads, because I think their construction is most solid and the colors are cuter (the liner goes on top of the pad and not inside...). There are also Party in my Pants, which also have GREAT styles to chose from- on these the washable liner is inside the pad. And then there's Glad Rags, which come in very nice starter packs.
I'll probably have some lunapads before long. Going reusable with the Divacup makes me crave being totally reusable.
But we're saving the planet right? Yeah, but these things are also expensive.
yep, they are (the diva cup is 30 bucks) but Tampons are more expensive, and you throw it all away. Pads too.
And, the reason I bought it
I'm going to college, and I'm responsible for buing my things
say it slips my mind.
Have you ever started your flow and found yourself without supplies?
bad feeling, huh?
That doesn't happen. Because you always reuse them, these babes are always with you :)
-Meg
|
|
| Night Before |
[11 Jul 2009|10:07pm] |
I'm leaving...on a jet plane...dunno when I'll be back again....
Tomorrow is the day I ship out and head to buffalo for orientation on monday
eep?
|
|
| new things |
[02 Jul 2009|04:52pm] |
|
I'm currently typing on my new baby! This thing is so cute, my little Toshiba mini nb205. I only took it out of the box nearly minutes ago. this thing is super easy to type on, super bright and kind of looks like a mini mac (especially with the island style keyboard.). Sofar she (he's?) going super fast and really agile, which is absolutely wonderful for me. She's (he's?) able to handle firefox, which is what I just installed, and I wonder what of instant messaging and whatnot. It has the n280 processor, so I'm guessing it's gonna hold up :)
super small and super cute screen. I love it. I absofuckinglutely LOVE IT :) I don't think a mac could make me this happy....just sayin >>
'the only problem I'm having? Figuring out the scroll keys on the mouse...but I'm sure that will come in time :)
everything comes with timeee
|
|
| In need of an update |
[30 Jun 2009|09:45pm] |
Robins make me think of Darwinism.
seriously, it's a symptom. Hopefully i can use that as a term paper next year.
We busted our asses cleaning today, and then I went driving today. Dad's a pretty good instructor when he keeps his cool. I fucked up a few times...but I do that not and again. I don't think I've had a driving trip where I haven't fucked up once. <<
We went to the mall today, to look at some netbooks and get a glimpse at some. I was originally planning on getting the Acer Aspire One AOD250 with a 3 Cell battery. That was at walmart. We went to Best Buy to really check out an Asus and see what that would get me. Well I didn't leave with an Asus...oh no. I left with a computer I knew nothing about and really, didn't understand.
6 Cell battery, 10.1" screen, 1 Gig ram, 160Gig hard drive.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I give you the Toshiba nb205
this cute little unit is not only good for megan, but good for the environment. The battery runs smoothly at a wopping 8.5 hours on a charge (!).
Super easy to type on, I feel comfortable bringing this netbook into my classes and taking notes on it (:)) I also feel comfortable bringing it almost anywhere, cause even with the massive (read: MASSIVE) battery, it's still under 3 pounds of weight (!)
ANYWAY enough tech geekology.
I GOT THE DORM ROOM I WANTED
I found out today, I'm living in Goodyear hall (!) which is on South Campus, a metro ride away from the heard of buffalo. The Room is a double with a shared bath, meaning although I have to clean it....the bathroom is Mien...and 3 other girls. That's not bad...that's very very good :3
And I just started talking to my roomie...in her opening e-mail she seemed very very nice...so I hope we'll get along. Hope she doesn't hate Skippy (the frog) or anything... >>
|
|
| no stamina |
[17 Jun 2009|02:03pm] |
There's a road I walk with the dogs, i'ts around 3/4 a mile..., maybe less, around a 15-20 minute walk. Yeah....
I wanted to run it today, well...jog...that didn't really happen...sadly. I have no stamina...so running it was very difficult I got winded and had to slow down, so I got a maximum of 4 minutes running, probably more like 2-3. Ick...
I'm bloated today and it makes me feel less-than pretty...mehmeh.
I LOVE the new car. It's an "alien" green Kia Soul. I adore it sickeningly, and was so excited for 3 years in the future, when dad said it's my college graduation present (so, 4 years really...)
But dad just said that if it has too many miles at that point, he'll get me something different. This is a weird reaction for me...because I want THIS car. I adore it.
I probably just want this car because it's new and shiny. In 4 years I probably WOULD want something like a new car (the Soul is a 2010...so dad WOULD get something like a 2013 or a 2014 at that time, cause that's how my dad is. He does stuff like that).
I'm just a selfish brat...but meh. I'm just being a litlte...WEEEE <3
it's a cute as hell car....
I'm gonna go do a little more walking on the treadmill, 45 minutes to get my 1 hour in. But yeah....><
I dunno, I'm confused and...scatterbrained.
|
|
| Why I Love the Military |
[04 Jun 2009|12:37am] |
I get that question a lot, actually. Mainly because I live in Massachusetts and they hate the military here. But also because of where I associate my friendships, people generally hate the military and hate war, and hate the government and hate this and hate that.
I feel like I need to just say it.
I love the military. I do. I think the military is awesome.
If you go into the military, you have the MOST respect I could ever give a single person. I think you're crazy, but I respect the shit out of you.
My dad is a marine. I don't know how many people know this. He is. He was a warrant officer in the marine corps reserves in the peacetime following vietnam. He was stationed in california, mainly. He surfed a lot.
I am a Marine Brat.
That being said, The marines kick ass. And they ARE special forces. Sorry Navy, Army and...Air Force. All your special forces, Rangers, Delta, Seals. It's a 1 to 1 ratio there. But 1 Marine...is like 20 Army.
But seriously...why do I love the military.
They put their lives on the line, for our country. They don't and essentially CAN'T say no to an order from superiors, and they die, so you can sit there and wonder why the fuck I love them. If you don't love the military, there's something seriously wrong with you.
you can not like war, you can not like violence, but there's no reason to think bad on the people who fight without questioning orders, for the sake of YOUR safety. There's a reason war isn't fought on american soil.
Cause we'd kick everyone's fucking asses who tried it.
If that's wrong to say, then I'm wrong. But I'm happy I've got hundreds of thousands...no...millions of soldiers who will fight for me and my rights. Who will voluntarily put their life on the line to make sure I can safely rest my head on my pillow without thinking that Kosovo will happen to me. A soldier who will, without a question, without knowing me, and the thousands of people he protects, will take a bullet, a mortar, or his life, for the name of this nation.
I've said I hate america in the past...and I was wrong.
and Torture? I got yelled at for agreeing with a kid on torture.
If my dad had died in 9/11, and there was even a chance I could have gotten information out of a person, I would have skinned that person alive.
If someone hurts me or my friends or family, they don't get off easy.
If that's wrong, then I'm wrong.
I love the military, I support the troops.
come home safe boys.
www.citizenSAM.org
|
|
| Dear...sorry |
[28 May 2009|12:21am] |
Dear belly
Sorry for the cannoli. I know it's not helping you get smaller, but they're really good.
Dear free nerve endings
Sorry fro sending all my jackets to dad's house...I know it's suddenly really cold and I don't know how to help it either
Dear ass
Sorry for the 50 lunges yesterday. Keep your eyes on the prize though. A firm ass is a fun ass to slap.
Dear readers
sorry for that.
Dear chest
Sorry left boob is drastically bigger than right boob. Sorry that none of my bras fit right. Sorry that my chest is too wide. Sorry for the 25 diamond pushups I just did.
Dear Right boob
Sorry you're small...but I like you better than left boob
Dear left boob
Sorry I like right boob better...but you know me, I don't want to be busty.
Dear wallet
Sorry that I'm abusing you too...we've always been close friends and I'll never stop babying you...but senior year is expensive
Dear Thighs
I'm sorry you're the most hated parts of my body. I'll learn to love you...i guess...you're like left boob.
Dear Prom Dress
sorry I put you through the pain of being tailored when I still want you to end up being too big on me.
Dear Wardrobe
Sorry I'm so eager to make you too big
Dear Kellan
Sorry I'm not writing. I'll get on that.
Dear Heart
sorry for letting you run rampant...i should really keep a better eye on you...and try to keep you safer.
Dear Mom
Sorry I'm moving, and that it's so high profile, and you have to see it. I read the note from the Realtor. you're leaving too. We're going separate ways and it's been destined for a long time Don't be sad. i'd hate to make you sad. Be happy...I have great oppurtunities ahead.
i promised I wouldn't bring around your granchildren. i'm a bad liar.
Dear mom's wallet.
Dad says you're gonna be emptying to the tune of a few hundred a week, for child support
I'm really, really sorry.
Mom, don't be mad?
I love you.
|
|
| Hunger |
[25 May 2009|09:51pm] |
since lastnight, I dunno what hunger feels like anymore
I got very sick after eating some fair food
I'm still sick, and dunno what's going on with my body.
My system really can'e handle fat like that. I eat so much 'healthy' food that too much fat really gets to me. I didn't eat that much today at all, really only some fruit, some pasta salad, summer slaw and a veggie burger. Wow...that's it? Christ. I'm gonna go make some popcorn and see if that balances me out any.
Part of me has been wondering if my camera, the video camera, is too big for daily college life. I really want a video blog next year, actually I want one now, but have no way to make it. But I just have so much to say, and tell everyone. There are some baby HD cameras that everyone has, that make me almost jealous. But I love Tyler Durden, and I just wish I could use him more because...he's frankly, an AWESOME camera. And right now I'm realizing that. He's my buddy from Italy and...Ryan Reynolds and all this awesome stuff. Son of a Bitch.
So what if he's big. Tyler Durden WILL go with me to college. And We'll experience so much. I'll learn, and capture things through a lens.
My life is changing a lot, and I'm not gonna let it get out of my grasp :)
|
|
| cold Loop |
[18 May 2009|03:06pm] |
I kind of hate the weekends, because I don't have a clock. In my bedroom at mom's house, I have 3 clocks, all set to time in different meters, but it's 3 clocks anyway. I always know what time it is...and therefor, I know when the news is on But even if I do know what time it is, the news isn't on during the weekends. I'm sure there's news. About swine flue or something that Obama did...but we'll never hear about it. the local news? It's only monday through friday.
This bothers me. Why? I like knowing what's going on. I'm curious about things and like knowing how things happen and what is done about those things. I also feel kind of educated when I can walk into school and say "you know what I saw on the news last night?"
You watch the news?! GASP. You are so well networked.
I know that's not how it works, but I'd like to think it works that way, I like feeling a little pompous once in a while.
I'm eating Celery and carrots for a snack, cause there's not a lot of calories and it's good for me. I'm dipping it in a curry-mustard dressing which has no calories, just salt.
I've lost a lot of weight over the past 2 years of dieting, exercise and treating myself well. today i officially marked my 59th pound lost. That's funny, cause I weigh, now, 159. I think I'd like to get down to 130 at the most...that'd be healthy. but I'm right now just looking at 156 as a short termer.
Brooke keeps bugging me about weight loss tips. she seems to think there's some secret. There's not. Eat right and exercise. That's all you need, really. I'm not giving her any more help.
My first bikini...that was great. I can wear it, but I wanna rock it!
|
|
| ratemyprofessor.com |
[14 May 2009|07:42pm] |
Well, because UB is sadistically fast in getting students ready for their first semester, I already told you guys how I have my schedule and now i have 3 of four teachers. Reading their reviews, i'm again SUPER comforted that I'll be able to handle myself. The only challenging looking course is Evolutionary Biology, which...is what I'm good at...which I probably won't be good at when I'm there. But I like the challenge of biology...hence AP.
here are some of my favorite ratings:
Chemistry- Jim Atwood
Best professor from the three available sections of 101. By the end of the year his lecture was filled with students from other sections. Pace was perfect, covered all material doing relevant examples that showed up on tests. Has a somewhat awkward sense of humor but it made the class interesting. Do the homeworks and you should do well.
Great teacher. Always made the material easy to understand. He cracks a lot if funny jokes and does some fun experiments duing lecture. It was the easiest A i ever got in a chemistry class.
Evolutionary Biology- Clyde Herreid
best of the evolutionary teachers. makes lectures interesting by dressing up, showing some movie clips, and even doing a song and dance number. clickers make attendence manditory but its not to bad. tests are hard but if you go to class and read they shouldn't be that bad. labs are intense for every teacher.
If there was a God of biology Dr. Herreid would be it.
Myths and Religions of the Angicent World- Roger Woodard
The great thing about his lecture is that he makes you buy the book he published with all the lecture notes already in it! Low stress class, interesting material, and Woodard is just a hilarious person. Speaks with a "shakespearian" accent, but works well with his personality. Fantastic class!
and my favorite:
Everything you've ever heard about Chuck Norris applies to Professor Woodard.
hehe, I'm so comforted. Just wait, I'm gonna get into calculus class and It's gonna be a nightmare. ><
I really want to start vlogging, but I can't because I don't have...stupid...fucking hookups on my computer! ARGH. *makes angry sounds* I just feel like I could talk and accomplish stuff, and I still have so much video from italy! I want that shit on youtube!
must make sure the computer I get for College has IEEE port...
oh! Lemme show you what dad intends to get me for college!
http://www.dell.com/content/products/productdetails.aspx/laptop-vostro-1520?c=us&cs=04&l=en&s=bsd
that one, which lives at the dorm room and does the big works on
and
http://www.dell.com/content/products/productdetails.aspx/laptop-inspiron-9?c=us&cs=19&l=en&ref=lthp&s=dhs
that one, which is the class computer, and comes with me to do notes and work.
I'm excited :)
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|